What is my purpose in this world?
What was I put on this earth to achieve?
That overall thing that I should do for the world or add to the world?
What is it that will enable me to find out what my purpose it?
And if I think I know what my purpose is, how can I be sure I am right?
And when will I be sure I am right once I have began on it?
And how will I plan such that the purpose can still be fulfilled even after me?
Or can I get other people into my purpose? But don’t they have their own?
And how can I ensure that I work towards my purpose each passing day?
How can I integrate it into my every waking moment?
How can I ensure that I stick to it religiously?
And how do I even begin?
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Guts for change
Sometimes we just need that random day
That random feeling
That random thought that there are a number of things you can do in your life to add more meaning to it
Okay…maybe not random…..something causes this feeling of resolve….it could be anything…
And after that comes some resolutions on what to do….some painful, some crazy…all towards what you feel is what you should be doing
Well, it is always afraid-worthy…..the what-ifs begin and the how-wills emerge..
But all in all, if you’ve gotta do it…then pull your sleeves and get to it!
If you had the guts to think it, then surely, the guts to make it happen exist! Use them!
That random feeling
That random thought that there are a number of things you can do in your life to add more meaning to it
Okay…maybe not random…..something causes this feeling of resolve….it could be anything…
And after that comes some resolutions on what to do….some painful, some crazy…all towards what you feel is what you should be doing
Well, it is always afraid-worthy…..the what-ifs begin and the how-wills emerge..
But all in all, if you’ve gotta do it…then pull your sleeves and get to it!
If you had the guts to think it, then surely, the guts to make it happen exist! Use them!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The time of my life....five and a half years
On 26th June 2011, I got on a flight to Prague for an internship that would mark the end of an era in AIESEC- An unforgettable one at that.
Five and half long years spent in an organisation that became a part of me.
I remember that first time I was in a member's meeting at University of Nairobi when I was confused and oblivious of what I was getting into.Was it November or December of 2005? Somewhere there. I had just joined 1st year in the University.
Looking back, I can see a whole lot of memories and experiences that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
All of them will make great stories that I will want to share with my children and grand children someday!
These five and a half years have meant:
- meeting some of the most intelligent minds of my generation
- interacting with so many cultures from all over the world
- experiencing the beauty of the world in over 20 countries
- shaping of my character for the next phase of my life
- believing in something so badly that it hurts
- thinking of organisational strategy even before I knew exactly what that was
- dreaming of results and outcomes even when the worst was staring at me right in the face
- surviving a day or more with little or absolutely no money in my pockets due to one reason or another
- having to handle a million things at once and still looking for some sort of balance with the other parts of my life
- realising that not all my acquaintances are true friends and that true friends are hard to come by
- learning that mistakes are potentially everywhere; sometimes we fall but then we have to wake up quick, learn and move on
- leading a group of amazing individuals towards a goal so clear that they all share in it
- that miracles can and do happen; anything is possible!
- that beyond all the work and achievements, nothing is as important as staying true to oneself
- that beyond all the things that can occupy my time- family is still the most important gift I have
- learning something new from even the most unusual of places or the most unexpected people
- seeing the world through the eyes of other people ; seeing things anew
- living life on the edge but realising that this kind of adrenalin can sometimes be too much to bear
- forgetting the notion in my mind that my health can take care of itself
- dropping the Fiona dogmas in my mind and opening up to new ways of thinking
- that the potentiality of a dream is based on the willingness to try
- that the possibility of achieving something meant to be is always blurred by a fog of fear
- that whether something is a win or a loss is based on our very own feelings about it
- changing and flexing the mind is good as long as it is justified by new and worthwhile experiences
- having that one conversation I needed to make a difference or a turn for the better
- giving time, passion, talent and skills beyond what I thought I actually had in me
- loosing and feeling so bad about it but looking towards the future for better days
- winning and tasting achievement so clearly that I was scared if it was actually real
- sharing the most hilarious of jokes; most hilarious of moments; and laughing like never before
- crying and sharing some extremely tough moments with those close to me but still finding a silver lining in that situation
- gaining some friends that I am sure I will want to have in my life for years to come
- being proud of my continent and my country and being excited at what I can do to make a worthy contribution
Most of all, these five years have meant Growth...in all aspects possible for any human being.
For this I would like to thank:
- AIESEC in general
- AIESEC Kenya, for taking me in and for the amazing people I have worked with
- My MC teams 0809, 0910, 1011- I cherish all we were able to share
- AIESEC friends from all over the world for the conversations and experiences shared
- My team leaders or people I reported to for pushing me to do more
- My mentors/coaches for pushing me to be more
- My mentees/coachees for allowing me to share what I could
- My friends for being there in good times and tough times
..........and most of all, my family, for bearing with me throughout the entire rollercoaster ride :-)
I will forever be grateful.
Wishing the best to all of you who I will no longer get to see and I hope that our lives will cross paths again sometime!
Big love,
Fi
Monday, June 13, 2011
Faith
What is this powerful think called FAITH?
I usually say that I am going by faith with this or that. But do I really really work on Faith? It could be that the idea of something working out is too strong, it scares faith into action...but this may not necessarily mean that I am good at working on Faith.
You know when we really want something to happen.....we may be working on Faith or we may be working on fear of failing. Potentially not the same thing...but I believe both have equal power to enable the unthinkable to be possible.
Or is it that the relentless fear of failing feeds into faith?
Faith means that endearing trust/belief in something....in this context- having that endearing trust/belief that something you want to happen will happen.
The fear of failing can be a good catalyst to spearhead faith in something happening. And here I mean only in the positive happenings. Coz God knows that fear of failure can be the pull of huge negative happenings....fear of the worst can actually bring the worst into play. I actually believe this- Something to do with the Law of Attraction.
Which means...maybe fear of failure then isn't such a bad thing.
Because, look at it this way...if I have faith- I believe beyond reasonable doubt that something will work out; if I have a huge fear of failure- I believe beyond reasonable doubt that something must work out; Quite similar. The different comes in the fact that the 1st is relying more on the universe and some higher power while the 2nd one is mostly relying on own effort and actions to avoid failure at all costs.
In both situations the idea in the person's head is to have something desired happening, as such:
1. Without own control
2. With own control.
So which is better to have in situations where a good or negative outcome is bound to bring huge consequences? I say- BOTH.
You don't necessarily have to be a 'fearer' of failure but you should be able to possess that inner drive that 'fearers' usually have. And imagine topping that up with faith.....wouldn't that be awesome!
Faith and Action to go with it.
Of course if something still doesn't work out even when you employed both mindsets, then just be rest assured whatever you were seeking wasn't meant for you so please move on excitedly to the next thing upcoming for you in your life!
I usually say that I am going by faith with this or that. But do I really really work on Faith? It could be that the idea of something working out is too strong, it scares faith into action...but this may not necessarily mean that I am good at working on Faith.
You know when we really want something to happen.....we may be working on Faith or we may be working on fear of failing. Potentially not the same thing...but I believe both have equal power to enable the unthinkable to be possible.
Or is it that the relentless fear of failing feeds into faith?
Faith means that endearing trust/belief in something....in this context- having that endearing trust/belief that something you want to happen will happen.
The fear of failing can be a good catalyst to spearhead faith in something happening. And here I mean only in the positive happenings. Coz God knows that fear of failure can be the pull of huge negative happenings....fear of the worst can actually bring the worst into play. I actually believe this- Something to do with the Law of Attraction.
Which means...maybe fear of failure then isn't such a bad thing.
Because, look at it this way...if I have faith- I believe beyond reasonable doubt that something will work out; if I have a huge fear of failure- I believe beyond reasonable doubt that something must work out; Quite similar. The different comes in the fact that the 1st is relying more on the universe and some higher power while the 2nd one is mostly relying on own effort and actions to avoid failure at all costs.
In both situations the idea in the person's head is to have something desired happening, as such:
1. Without own control
2. With own control.
So which is better to have in situations where a good or negative outcome is bound to bring huge consequences? I say- BOTH.
You don't necessarily have to be a 'fearer' of failure but you should be able to possess that inner drive that 'fearers' usually have. And imagine topping that up with faith.....wouldn't that be awesome!
Faith and Action to go with it.
Of course if something still doesn't work out even when you employed both mindsets, then just be rest assured whatever you were seeking wasn't meant for you so please move on excitedly to the next thing upcoming for you in your life!
Surprises
Life has a funny way of creating drama for itself and making things dramatic.
Every time things are just moving steadily and calmly- something will happen to shake things up.
It seems to be life's way of rejuvenating itself and making itself worthwhile.
So be sure to be weary or ready each time things seem to just be flowing smoothly....something will shake things up and get your adrenalin running again!
Good or bad...that is overally what makes life what it is. The ups and downs. The pushes and pulls!
Such is life, isn't it?
Every time things are just moving steadily and calmly- something will happen to shake things up.
It seems to be life's way of rejuvenating itself and making itself worthwhile.
So be sure to be weary or ready each time things seem to just be flowing smoothly....something will shake things up and get your adrenalin running again!
Good or bad...that is overally what makes life what it is. The ups and downs. The pushes and pulls!
Such is life, isn't it?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Been a long time coming
Well, true...I have taken so long to get back on this blog and write random thoughts and God knows I have had many! So many such that the pleasure of expressing them ending was over-ridden by many other thoughts.
How is it that something that I was so engrossed before, died? When we loose sight of what was once important to us...what is generally the cause of it? Is it that I got better things to do with my time? Is it that I no longer had the time? Is it that I lost interest? Hardly any of the above. It is just that I lost the discipline to keep on the journey I had once began so enthusiastically. This was not a case of losing interest.....nope...and like many other similar circumstances...I was actually longing to get back... but each day I thought about it, three-ten days passed before I actually arrived.
So then I sit here and realise that for me and for the rest of my life, this is one huge battle I have to face each day....that of discipline. Keeping to the initial...keeping to the focus.....keeping to the previous times...keeping to the promises...
My mind most times is a grasshopper moving from idea to idea which most times is a positive...but if it compromises on discipline then it is leaning me towards a despicable vice and I shan't allow it.
Training my mind to continue to jump with ideas but stick with resolutions will be a battle as it has always been throughout my life.....but the difference this time is that I am aware of each time I am in a dilemma situation of this kind- and if I fail..I have to live with my guilty myself...hopefully I will not become immune to the guilty feeling.
And I pray for assistance...wherever it may come or be.
:-)
How is it that something that I was so engrossed before, died? When we loose sight of what was once important to us...what is generally the cause of it? Is it that I got better things to do with my time? Is it that I no longer had the time? Is it that I lost interest? Hardly any of the above. It is just that I lost the discipline to keep on the journey I had once began so enthusiastically. This was not a case of losing interest.....nope...and like many other similar circumstances...I was actually longing to get back... but each day I thought about it, three-ten days passed before I actually arrived.
So then I sit here and realise that for me and for the rest of my life, this is one huge battle I have to face each day....that of discipline. Keeping to the initial...keeping to the focus.....keeping to the previous times...keeping to the promises...
My mind most times is a grasshopper moving from idea to idea which most times is a positive...but if it compromises on discipline then it is leaning me towards a despicable vice and I shan't allow it.
Training my mind to continue to jump with ideas but stick with resolutions will be a battle as it has always been throughout my life.....but the difference this time is that I am aware of each time I am in a dilemma situation of this kind- and if I fail..I have to live with my guilty myself...hopefully I will not become immune to the guilty feeling.
And I pray for assistance...wherever it may come or be.
:-)
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