Well, true...I have taken so long to get back on this blog and write random thoughts and God knows I have had many! So many such that the pleasure of expressing them ending was over-ridden by many other thoughts.
How is it that something that I was so engrossed before, died? When we loose sight of what was once important to us...what is generally the cause of it? Is it that I got better things to do with my time? Is it that I no longer had the time? Is it that I lost interest? Hardly any of the above. It is just that I lost the discipline to keep on the journey I had once began so enthusiastically. This was not a case of losing interest.....nope...and like many other similar circumstances...I was actually longing to get back... but each day I thought about it, three-ten days passed before I actually arrived.
So then I sit here and realise that for me and for the rest of my life, this is one huge battle I have to face each day....that of discipline. Keeping to the initial...keeping to the focus.....keeping to the previous times...keeping to the promises...
My mind most times is a grasshopper moving from idea to idea which most times is a positive...but if it compromises on discipline then it is leaning me towards a despicable vice and I shan't allow it.
Training my mind to continue to jump with ideas but stick with resolutions will be a battle as it has always been throughout my life.....but the difference this time is that I am aware of each time I am in a dilemma situation of this kind- and if I fail..I have to live with my guilty myself...hopefully I will not become immune to the guilty feeling.
And I pray for assistance...wherever it may come or be.
:-)
