Last week I was on a flight to Lagos from Nairobi.
It was the most turbulent flight I have ever been on.
Perhaps for two reasons- we were flying above Cameroon and we were flying a Boeing.
Any time I am flying Kenya Airways and we are flying over Cameroon- God receives way more prayers from me than usual. If I had known before that day that Boeing was, in that very week, having some technical issues with its aircrafts- my prayers would be multiplied by 20.
I guess by now you have figured out that if I am writing this, then I lived to tell the story.
What I will most remember about the flight was that I was almost ready to start seeing my life flash before me. The key word here being- 'almost'. I may have not been ready to die- but if it happened, I would have already prepared my mind for it.
Or would I?
I began to think about my family. Had I said 'worthwhile' goodbyes? Who did I wish I had seen before i took the flight that I didn't? Who did I wish I called that I hadn't?
I thought about my friends. Had I said 'good' goodbyes?
I thought about recent disagreements/arguments. Had I made peace with those people?
I thought about people who had hurt me(which suddenly seemed insignificant). Had I forgiven them? Had I told them that I had?
I thought about people who I had hurt(which suddenly seemed significant). Had I apologized? Had I made peace with them?
I thought about my 2 weeks holiday in Nairobi. Had I met all the people I should have met? Who didn't I meet that I should have? How would they feel if I never came back?
I thought about death. Would it be painful?
At least I would die with food in my stomach. Would that make any difference? Would my body burn faster if the plane were to go in flames?
I thought about the plane. Why did I naturally think about it going up in flames? (I blame those crazy action movies) Maybe it would just fall? We were close to ground now, weren't we? Or maybe the wing would just break off?
I was at the window seat. I quickly closed the shutter to keep off the melodramatic plane crash imaginations.
The pilot then said we were ready to land in 20 minutes.
The questions continued to ring in my head.
Okay, we are safe now. Hopefully we will land safely.
But what if we don't? How would the plane break apart?
Who would die faster? First class passengers or economy class passengers?
And if First class and Business class passengers pay so much- shouldn't that extra cost guarantee that they would die later than the rest of us? Or not die at all? But I guess death doesn't look at flight cost.
Pilot then said: "Cabin crew get ready for landing..."
10 minutes...
We are going to land safely..... Yep! We are okay.
The Nigerians on board clap as always.
I smile.
No casualties. No smoke. No wreckage. Everyone in one piece.
It wasn't my day yet. I thanked God and looked around to see if other people in the plane had been crazy-thinking like I was.
Ha!
Most were not even the least bothered- they were happily watching Wolverine save the other X-MEN from the screen above.
I wondered if I was the only one who had been paranoid the whole time.
Perhaps.
But I continue to wonder:
When my actual fateful day comes, will I be ready to see my life flash before me and be at peace with it?
Would I have a lived a life that I would be proud of? One that God would be happy with?
I wish these were rhetorical questions.
But they aren't.
I have to be able to answer them.
Now. Today. Any day.
As you might expect, I added some new resolutions to my 2013 list. New year, new ways!
PS: I was the proud recipient of a well-timed change of topic from my small sister who didn't want to listen to my If-I-die narratives. She hardly speaks about any subject to do with death for more than a microsecond. Hopefully she will be able to read this.
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